What did Santa get his assistants for Christmas? Elf Help books.

How many potatoes does it take to make potato pancakes? A latke. Happy Hanukkah!

Why did the banjos form a support group? They were getting picked on.

What kind of ships do students want? Scholarships.

Which vegetable do drummers consume fastest? Beets.

What can you break with a whisper? Silence.

What is brought to the table, and cut,but never eaten? A deck of cards.