Why does Santa have no regrets? Because he stayed focused on the present. 

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Weed. Weed who? We weed you a Merry Christmas!

Knock, knock. Who’s there? Europe. Europe who? Europe late waiting for Santa Claus.    

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizza? Deep pan, crisp and even.

When will Santa come down the chimney? In the Nick of time.

Where did the mistletoe go to become famous? Holly-wood.

Why won’t snowmen eat my carrot cake? They are afraid it has boogers in it.

What is a mime’s favorite Christmas carol? Silent Night.

Who does Frosty like to visit for the Holidays? His Aunt Arctica.

What is a dinosaur’s least favorite reindeer? Comet.