How did the mop beat the broom in a race?

My neighbor got a boat, so I had to get one too.

What do you call a long line at a cookout?

We named our new band “Quilt.”

Why do fiddlers pick on banjo players?

Why is a disagreement between two vegetarians not called a beef?

Why aren’t laptops allowed to drive?

My neighbor traded in his KIA yesterday.

Why is water heavier than butane?

What did one piece of toast say to the other?