Charles Dickens walks into a bar, orders a martini.

How does the Man in the Moon cut his hair?

Why does Santa’s garden look so good?

Why is it so wet in England?

Our government just banned the fifth month of the year.

What do you call the best butter on the farm?

Why is a Christmas tree a lousy knitter?

How does the ocean greet you in July?

What is Beethoven’s favorite fruit?

Why did the carpenter join the army?