I have a joke about a rubber band, but it’s a bit of a stretch.

The weather forecast predicted freezing rain, but it turned out to be quite an ice day.

My family told me to stop telling Thanksgiving jokes, but I said I couldn’t quit cold turkey.

A diagnostic is someone who can’t figure out if there are two gods.

You have to be odd to be number one.

The person who invented knock knock jokes should get the no bell prize.

toothless beaver walks into a pub

It’s so hot that you can’t make a chili dog.

a child refuses to nap

Stealing someone’s coffee is called mugging.